


My Dearest Captain

by cloudykozume



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Letters, Maybe OOC, Not Beta Read, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, i woke up today and chose violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29048565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudykozume/pseuds/cloudykozume
Summary: Levi stared at the piece of paper in his shaking hand. At first, he had no idea what the paper was until he unfolded it and immediately recognized the handwriting; the perfect and beautiful handwriting.It was a letter from Petra.
Relationships: Levi/Petra Ral
Kudos: 35





	My Dearest Captain

Levi stared at the piece of paper in his shaking hand. At first, he had no idea what the paper was until he unfolded it and immediately recognized the handwriting; the perfect and beautiful handwriting.

It was a letter from Petra.

He suddenly felt sick as he stumbled to his desk chair. Did he really need to read this right now? Would that be in his best interest? Probably not, he was still nowhere near ok with being without Petra. She still plagued his dreams when he closed his eyes at night. Levi could still hear her laugh, smell her scent on the bedsheets. 

Levi knew this was a bad idea. 

But his curiosity was too much, he wanted- no needed- to know what the letter said. Levi opened his eyes. When had he closed them? The letter sat heavy in his hand, he swallowed thickly.

He began reading.

_ To my dearest Captain, _

__

_ Ha, what a cheesy way to start, right? I apologize for that. I just know you’re cringing right now. _

Levi smiled because it was true.

_ I hope you’re well and that you’re taking care of yourself. Have you showered today? Have you gotten something to eat? You better have. _

Levi’s smile faded at that. He hadn’t showered in two days and he can’t remember the last time he actually was able to stomach anything. Petra knew him all too well.

_ If not, then please try. For me? I won’t be around to take care of you forever you dummy.  _

He clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to stop the oncoming flow of tears. Levi remembers the stolen glances at the dinner table, the way she would always make sure he was eating. He remembers soft hands in his hair and on his body. Petra would take it upon herself to wash Levi’s hair; he didn’t mind.

Petra was always so gentle with him, and she treated him like he was something so precious and innocent. Even though they both knew the things he had done, it didn’t matter. Petra saw him for what he was: human.

_ I know we have a big mission coming up, and I just have this feeling that I won’t be coming back home. I know, very pessimistic of me, but it’s just a hunch. It could be nothing. But if something does go wrong and I don’t come home, then you’ll have this. _

_ You’ll have all the letters I’ve written you actually. I’ve never told you this, but before every mission, I write a letter just in case.  _

Levi’s eyes went incredibly wide and he examined the paper with more intensity. Was Petra really expecting to die every single time? No, that isn’t like her. It was just in case. She was always so careful.

_ If you want to read all of the letters for yourself, talk to Hange. They’ll know where to find them. But they’re pretty repetitive so I don’t blame you if you choose not to read them. _

Levi was planing to read every single one.

_ But this letter is just a bit different. I didn’t have this feeling before any other mission. So that’s why I will now take this time to say everything that I never got the chance to. _

He swallowed the lump in his throat and prepared himself.

_ Levi, from the day I met you, I knew you would be mine. Wipe the grin off of your face because I know that’s what you’re doing right now. _

Levi laughed fondly.

_ I don’t know how I knew but I did. You, Levi Ackerman, had stolen my heart.  _

_ You didn’t even do anything remarkable that day, you were actually quite calm. I was mesmerized by you. And then when I saw you in action for the first time, that’s when I knew I was done for. _

_ You looked so graceful in the ODM gear. The wind in your hair made me yearn to touch it, to run my fingers through it. I wanted to know you more. I wanted to know what your favorite tea was, what your goals were, what got you up in the morning? Did you have any plans after all of this was over? _

_ And one day, I got my wish.  _

_ The man who I admired the most wanted to build trust with me. You wanted to be my friend, and I was so happy.  _

His breath was shaky as he continued to read. He remembers everything, it didn’t feel too long ago. 

I _t took some time because my goodness, Levi you are one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. But despite that, I was determined to get to know you more. And after some time, you finally opened up to me._

_ And then, of course, there was that day you kissed me in that tree. Do you remember that?  _

Levi’s breath hitched. He does remember, he remembers it clearly. They were just out observing, looking for titans that Hange would be interested in. It was cold, and the wind was terrible. He remembers the way Petra cursed at the frigid air and the way he laughed at her

He also remembers taking off his cloak and throwing it around her. Levi can still see her flushed face and the way her eyes lit up at that moment. He remembers leaning closer and closer until their lips finally met.

Her lips were cold just like his, but hers were definitely softer.

_ My stomach felt like a butterfly garden that day. It’s one of my favorite memories. You looked so beautiful. Yes, beautiful.  _

_ I’m running out of space to write, I guess I should wrap this up. I only have one more thing to say anyway. _

_ I love you, Levi Ackerman. _

He choked on his own saliva at that. Petra loved him. He continued to read.

_ I love you more than anything. You are my soulmate, and I know you don’t believe in them. And I know you’re grimacing just at the concept but I don’t care. You’re my soulmate, my everything.  _

_ But I am not yours. _

Now that was something Levi wasn’t expecting. 

_ I was never and never will be your soulmate. I was destined to die on this mission and I was destined to leave you. And even though that’s not what I want, that’s what must happen. I cannot change the outcome.  _

_ But even if so, continue without me. Move on and find your person. Find that person that will love you unconditionally.  _

_ Live. _

_ Live without me, Levi. You’re strong, always have been. And now I need you to continue forward. Can you do that for me? _

_ I believe you can.  _

_ Well, that’s all for now. I’ll see you when I see you. _

_ With Love,  _

“Petra.” Levi finally let himself break.

Harsh sobs shook his body as he held the letter close to his chest. He didn’t even bother to keep quiet, if someone heard they would know better than to bother him. 

He smiled through tears and looked at the paper. “You jerk, you wanted me to cry didn’t you?”

Levi took a deep breath, his body no longer shaking as much. “Alright, Petra. You’ve got yourself a promise.”

Later that day, Levi asked Hange for the remaining letters and spend his day reading. He laughed, he cried, he reminisced. In his opinion, it was a day well spent. 

He knew that this would be a tough process, recovery wouldn’t happen overnight. But he knew he could do it, he could live. If it was for Petra, he knew he could do it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! God Petra/Levi has been one of my comfort ships for a while now. I just adore them. This is my first time writing about them so I hope I did them justice.


End file.
